Sleazy Pizza
by Ryan Roman
CHAPTER
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6 comments + 3 replies
Posted by: jane
04:08am / Aug 30, 2008
04:08am / Aug 30, 2008
Pointless to the story but the artwork was nice.
One thing I will say I find myself cringing at
times when your characters speak, they just come off sounding like douches when you write something for them to say, like they are trying too hard to say something cool. I don't know maybe its just me. Sometimes you've written them to say some brilliantly funny things but more often they say cringe worthy things.
One thing I will say I find myself cringing at
times when your characters speak, they just come off sounding like douches when you write something for them to say, like they are trying too hard to say something cool. I don't know maybe its just me. Sometimes you've written them to say some brilliantly funny things but more often they say cringe worthy things.
Posted by: Ryan Roman
10:04am / Aug 30, 2008
10:04am / Aug 30, 2008
I'll take the criticism. I know I'm not the greatest writer, I just try to write the characters as I know 'em,...course if they come off as a douche, and I'm the one writing them...does make me THE douche? LOL
Hopefully, all will get better for you, as I've taken an editor on, so he'll help me stop with anything cringe-worthy. Thanks for bein' around, Jane, and hope you come on back!
Hopefully, all will get better for you, as I've taken an editor on, so he'll help me stop with anything cringe-worthy. Thanks for bein' around, Jane, and hope you come on back!
Posted by: Kevin "Pops"
12:21pm / Aug 30, 2008
12:21pm / Aug 30, 2008
The fact that it provokes a response says you're doing something very right.
12:25am / Aug 30, 2008